Please Don't Eat the Remote!

Face it: we’re a nation of electronic junkies. From the hi-def television and TiVo to the ubiquitous laptop and cell phone, we’re a weird wired world (say those last three words 10 times really fast—I dare you!).

Apparently our pets are ga-ga about gadgets too…but not in a good way.

Petplan (a U.K. based pet insurance company) recently surveyed 3,000 pet guardians and found that our companion animals are at risk of serious injury as a result of run-ins with electronics. The circuitry culprits that cause the heftiest veterinary bills? iPods take the number one spot (15%); followed by laptop computers, remote controls, and Plasma TVs (10.8%); Wii and DVD players (10%); Playstations (8.3%); and Nintendo DS, mobile phones, and Karaoke machines (5.8%).

Which makes me wonder: just how can a Karaoke machine be perilous to a pet? (One guess: your Beagle belts out oldies like ‘Who Let the Dogs Out?’ until he strains his vocal cords. Or perhaps your feline friend punched the play button for ‘Cat Scratch Fever’ one too many times and developed Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. In all seriousness, it’s more likely that your curious cat or canine became tangled in that mess of wires behind your entertainment center, chewed through an electrical cord and received a nasty jolt, or perhaps your hungry hound swallowed the remote control or your cell phone (sure, it sounds a bit humorous now; wait until you get the vet. bill).

Several years ago, when my elderly cat suddenly became ill one night, I rushed him to a 24-hour emergency pet hospital. While I sat fidgeting nervously in the waiting room, I heard the most horrendous caterwauling sound coming from the back room—sort of a cross between a moan and a meow. A veterinary technician explained that two cats had been roughhousing in their family’s den and one of them pounced on the television cabinet, which sent the behemoth boob tube crashing down…right on the other cat’s tail. The assaulted appendage had to be amputated and to this day, the poor puss is probably still walking around with a stump and gingerly avoiding the television set like the plague.

And then there’s Pugsley, a Jack Russell mix who can’t resist lunging at his family’s HD Plasma TV whenever another dog appears on the screen. Frustration sets in when Pugsley can see and hear the pooch but, darn it, he can’t smell him! What to do? Get a closer look, of course. Now, you can probably guess the outcome: Pugsley smacks the screen with his face and falls flat on his back. It may sound like a side-splitting scene from America ’s Funniest Pets, but in reality, there’s nothing funny about our pet’s pain.

Obviously, we’re not going to give up our addiction to hi-tech appliances any time soon and we’re (hopefully) not going to banish Bowser to the backyard. We can, however, work on tidying up those wires (if you pet is a nibbler, wrap the wires in plastic protectors, available from Radio Shack) and keep your small electronics out of your pet’s reach at all times. Personally speaking, if I had to choose between my computer and my cat, my poor old Compaq would get the ol’ heave-ho (at which time I’d be on the lookout for a different kind of job; one that doesn’t require typing and staring at a screen all day). I wonder what Karaoke singers make these days?

THE SURVEY SAYS… According to another survey, this one by the American Animal Hospital Association, over two-thirds of Americans would rather be stranded on a desert island with their pet than with their partner, 50% of people with pets threw birthday and other parties for them; 63% cook for them; 65% have sung and/or danced for their pets; 68% dress them up during the holidays (dust off those Halloween costumes!); and 70% share their bed with their pets. And, finally, after some real arm-twisting, a whopping 78% of animal guardians admitted to greeting their pet at the door before saying hello to their spouse or significant other. (The pets themselves could be partly responsible for this last statistic; after all, they can dash to the door faster than even the most agile athlete.)

Here’s a few more fun statistics from past years’ American Animal Hospital Association Surveys:

1999: 44% have used the Internet to learn more about their pet.
1999: 83% admit to talking to their pet in a special (baby talk?) voice.
1998: 7% have ended a romantic relationship because of a pet.
1997: 4% of pets attended a wedding or accompanied the lovebirds on their honeymoon.
1996: 49% rely mostly on their spouse/significant other for affection, while 47% lean on their pet for support.

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While Karen admits to occasionally leaning on her cat for moral support, she also turns to her readers for encouragement (and entertainment). Send your amazing and amusing animal tales to her at karenleestevens@cox.net.

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By Karen Lee Stevens,
Founder & President, ALL FOR ANIMALS, Inc.
Copyright © 2008. All Rights Reserved.

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